she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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