She is in my trunk
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
