I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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