Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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