Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
