And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize