Well douche your snatch and let's go!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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