they need to just BURY HIM!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I need a burrito and a hug.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
