you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
