where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize