that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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