whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
