Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Randomize
