she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So vagazzling was a success
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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