I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
