i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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