I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
