She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
