my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
