you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
