i just google imaged poop.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
