Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
