i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
