so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Who died my cat blue again?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
