Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
