Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
