Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
then he tried to convert me to islam
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
