Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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