Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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