the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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