i already hear my dad disowning me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
