i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
