Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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