Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
