You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
