I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
