I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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