If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
