do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
