At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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