Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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