I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
