oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
