Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize