Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize