i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
