I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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