Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
honey bunches of taint.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
