I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
