Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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