Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
