we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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