I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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