hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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