Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
