It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
