That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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