haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
