Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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