am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
