Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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