sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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