Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you had me at cake vodka
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
