Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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