Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Your cock deserves a montage
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
