doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
