friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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