Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
