Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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