It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
