Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
