If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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