You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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