The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
