Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize