How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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